1. Everything Between Paint And A Wall – Grandview

this random emo album by a now-defunct emo band (kind of, they currently go by donna bummer on bandcamp — and i'm endlessly grateful to the one who emailed me after seeing my album purchase of this on bandcamp to tell me!) ended up defining my teenhood.. it's ridiculously cliche, it opens with a song called 'paint' and closes with a song called 'wall'. haha get the title? it hides one of the most beautiful narratives ive ever witnessed, little stories that speak of this daunting world, songs that i screamed out alone endlessly and still feel hesitant picking out to share people. there's this huge, optimistic journey here accompanied by the sisyphean task of overcoming grief and loneliness, as ever-present as it is. this album is mine

this is also my most desired vinyl right now; there are about 500 copies out in circulation... please

Listen (Spotify)

2. Twin Fantasy – Car Seat Headrest

im gay

Falling in love with someone by their art, the projection of love to the becoming of love, how much can the internet and creation mend the fabric of distance (not very well), queer repression, how does the artist turn heartbreak and longing into more self-absorbed fuel for their pain? When Will paints random bits of a world ("a pain star has entered your house, but what are you going to do about it? are you going to touch it? it only hpapens once eveyr thousand years, maybe even two thousand years. and how long is a year, really?") or bits of cate's world (for some reason this line stuck with me so so hard and i have a video of me sobbing and singing it back terribly in boston — "in the mall in the nighttime / you came back alone with a flashlight / it was the start of nothing new....") and litters random biblical contemplations, I feel it all.

this is not a very good introduction to twin fantasy but i have been working on an essay on it for years... please do stay tuned

Listen (Spotify)

3. Bluffer's Guide to the Flight Deck – Flotation Toy Warning

an avant-pop album i stumbled upon on youtube sometime in middle school? that became this special listen i routinely made sure to sit through in each year, until i found myself living in it

i intend to get married to 'even fantastica', no matter what i must do

Listen (Spotify) Even Fantastica (YouTube)