realized lately that if there is anything i want as a takeaway from my being, it's that i loved and i loved so many things and i loved it hard... haha. what a silly dream.
this one is really fun because it's happening a lot lately. if my head can't even process direct truths in front of me, how am i going to function. haha
my friends and anyone i've fantasized with on vacations know this. i think my family does but they don't take it seriously. i absolutely cannot step into the ocean, especially if the water is murky and unclear, especially if the water is above my ankles. i feel immediately dizzy and small and i know i will drift
also one time i was held against my will quite far out into the shore as a child and got stung like 30 times with whoever carrying me thinking i was just acting up and not actually being stung to what felt like death to my child body so that is probably a contributing factor